#the lincolnshire poacher

[ultimate-torchwood-monthly]

And here are our finalists!

The finals will consist of 66 polls to be released over a length of time to be decided by this poll starting on August 16th (to give me time to actually make all the polls lmao). Each finalist will go up against each other and whichever audio wins the most matches and points will be crowned the ultimate Torchwood monthly! May the best monthly win!

[mooncustafer]

I would do numbers on a numbers station

[chiropteracupola]

Hagman in Null Moon?

'Tis my delight on a shiny night, in the season of the year

[bathroomcorpse]

hanging out with The Conet Project: Recordings of Shortwave Numbers Stations (1111) today

[zenosanalytic]

It's generally astounding how SEVERELY twisted conservative christian reads of The Bible are, but this intentional misreading to make their constant ~pious(hypocritical)~ blaming of God for everything they do NOT the direct violation of the commandments it is, is definitely the most common one.

[fandompinterest]

transcript:

[image of an inflatable bed for your car]

Car sex just got a helluva lot easier.

or homelessness

two kinds of people.

you could put a dead body there and put a blanket on it and people would think they were just sleeping and it would be a great way to transport dead bodies inconspicuously.

* three kinds of people.

[supernatural gif] Third kind already? You better run man, I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.

HOW CAN YOU EVEN HAVE A GIF THAT’S THAT SPECIFIC?

[gapsmusic]

Gunby Honey and Lincolnshire Poacher Bread

[siena-sevenwits]

Goodness of yesterday:*

We had all been asked to attend the birthday party, which was themed around French Canadian history and the Order of Good Cheer, in clothing evocative of New France. I was going for a peasant habitant look, or at least a fantasy version of one with my limited costume choices. (Alas! I own a million costumes that are all made for a bunch of skinny high schoolers, and I am not that.) I cobbled together my red split front overdress, my gathered white chemise, and a thick petticoat beneath. About my waist I arranged a couple of coureur des bois sashes and a buckskin purse (which a real peasant woman probably would not have worn in the way I did, but at least they screamed "French Canadian.") Topped it off with a sort of cap made out of a toque and some lace, which I tucked my hair up into (probably the least convincing part of the ensemble, but I'm told it worked okay.)

I went into a shop to buy a present. My own car wasn't up to the road conditions, so I had borrowed my mom's van. It is the most massive thing you ever did see. I am entirely comfortable driving it but parking it in close quarters always has me in a flurry of second guesses. Anyway, the parking lot at the shop had been cleared of snow in the most insane way. A mountain of chunky snow the size of a small building blocked the end of several parking rows, so there was now way to drive the perimeter, and most importantly, no room to turn around in a honkin' big van. I slipped into the very last available parking space, only just managing to fit, right next to the mountain of snow. And I was terrifying I would not be able to back out. Yeah, I could back out the way I'd got in, but not turn around. (Add to this that of course the parking lot lines are all covered with snow, which leads to people just guessing and parking in a shambles way. Well, I've been in situations with that huge van which I did not want to relive. So I found myself praying to Jesus that when I came out of the shop, the car parked immediately across from me would be gone and no one would have taken its place, so I could just drive through the empty space and escape. And when I came out, He'd done it for me. I was so happy. Nothing miraculous by any means, but I felt loved.

And so I escaped.

The shop in question was Indigo. They had a single copy of 84 Charing Cross Road, which would be right up my friend's alley! They've never had it in stock before. Very gratifying.

Then on to the amazing birthday party. It was an absolute blast. The house was resplendent with Christmas. We had hearty French Canadian fare (including one of the best tourtieres I have ever tasted - beautifully flaky crust!) and ciders and homemade teas.

We sang lots of traditional songs in French (I was one of the only people there who did not speak French, but I kept up all right with the sheet music in front of me. It helped that I knew I couple of the tunes.) Sometimes the music was accompanied on harp or piano.

Everyone was also asked to bring a folk song to sing for the company. I asked them if they felt like hearing about kings or crime. One lone voice called, "Kings!" The rest of the room chorused, "Crime!" So I sang them "The Lincolnshire Poacher."

I was asked to call a ceilidh. There was not much room for longwise dancing in the living room, but they managed to dance The Bridge of Athlone like pros!

I did some praying in the car on the way home and became aware in a new way of some areas in my life that are messed up and that I really need to get serious about working on. It was not comfortable, but it didn't disturb my peace and get me down with shame, which often to me is a sign that it might be worth taking seriously as from God, rather than just a streak of discouragement or anxiety. And it's a grace, and a very Advent one, to have a chance to see these things more clearly.

I fell asleep reading about Amarantha and her "kidnapping."

[andrew-rannells-mustache]

For Day 5 of @terrortracks: DJ Club Mix

Who Gave John Irving the AUX? - Some (mostly period-accurate?) karaoke songs I think John Irving would’ve liked, arranged in order of how wasted he’d have to be to sing them. Motivations + me being insane under the cut!

Nearer My God To Thee - Jirving and his bros on the HMS Edinburgh were called the “Holy Ghost Boys”, you KNOW he’s breaking out this bad boy after two (2) glasses of wine.

The Holly and the Ivy - A perfectly nice Christmas song that, much like Irving, never misses a moment to bring up Jesus. I like to think he’d bust this one out halfway through his third glass of port at a Terror Christmas celebration.

The Mermaid - This gives me Hampstead is the Place to Ruralize vibes, I like to imagine it could’ve been a Jirv Carnivale song if there’d been a little less arson.

The Lincolnshire Poacher - Irving pulls this one out to convince himself that he’s not that drunk actually, because he can still get the words/rhythm right. (Note: he cannot.)

Over the Hills and Far Away - Idk I like to imagine all the Lieuts singing this one. The lyrics are a bit bawdy depending on which version you’re looking at so maybe Irving is coaxed by someone. (Maybe Dundy? Probably Dundy.)

Click Goes The Shears - Fun fact: A couple years before the signing up for the Franklin Expedition, Irving and his brother emigrated to Australia to make a living raising sheep. They had a pretty Bad Time™️ overall and moved back four years later (and then John went off to uhh go die in the Arctic whoops), but I like to imagine he’d keep this song in mind anyways. :-)

Soldier Boy For Me - Jirv can have a little gender, as a treat. Does he perhaps take a few scarce glances at a certain marine sergeant while singing this? Who’s to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bonnee Dundee - Oh that boy is drunk drunk. Best results if you imagine Jirv singing this with a fake (or, depending on how historical your interpretation of Irving is, real) Scottish accent.

Hope you enjoy! :-)

[ultimate-torchwood-monthly]

Series 8B Winner

The Lincolnshire Poacher!

Specifics of the victory below the cut:

[finniestoncrane]

the lincolnshire poacher came into my head and i fear i am about to become abnormal about numbers stations again

[i-am-the-doctor]

Agent Conet is a spy for the mirror world, tasked with sneaking around cars in search of slivers so they can notify enforcement along with other errands they need to run (some mirror world headcanons.)

His Prime was actually an American spy that was captured by the soviets in the cold war, and his prime **mysteriously disappeared.** With that being said, he has extensive knowledge of spying and sneaking around, and he gets his information and assignments through the Numbers Stations. he'd match up the card with the repeating numbers, and then proceed to decode.

he actually despises the way things are run in the mirror world, but he is terrified to speak out, so he keeps quiet and does his job.

he speaks in a soft voice, and is very skilled in making no noise while walking, even on crunchy leaves. he gets startled easily however.

Fun trivia! 

His primes name was Andy Halloway!

His current agent name, Conet, is named after The Conet Archive, an archive of many different number stations from differant countries.

A self-soothing habit he has is to hum the first few bars of The Lincolnshire Poacher. this is a reference to the Lincolnshire Poacher Numbers Station, one of my favorites.

He wears that sweater to try and hide his uniform to the best of his abilities. its also warm. who doesn't like a nice cable knot sweater?

He frequents the Snow Car, and considers it a "Base" to listen to the frequencies because its so quiet.

(this is for an AU, but i'm still working out the au ideas. basically its like a lore extension of the chrome car/mirror world along with some stories)

[nico-di-angelfish]

Nine albums! Thank you, @dodger-chan, for tagging me :) I’m not entirely sure of the rules but here’s nine albums that I love.

1. This is my favourite album of all time, Panic! has been my favourite band since I was 11 and I think this is their best album. Fun fact: a lot of the songs and song titles on this album are inspired by the books of Chuck Palahniuk (Camisado is inspired by Fight Club, etc.), and he “loves the Panic! songs”. I have a source for that but for some reason it won’t work? It’s on livejournal just search “Chuck Palahniuk Panic at the Disco”. My favourite song on the album is Build God, Then We’ll Talk, but I love all of them, even the Intermission was actually on my top songs of the month in October lol.

2. This is my second favourite album but I only found it last year. I’m not sure what it is about it that speaks to me. I don’t really like their other albums either, except sort of Clarity. My favourite song is Get It Faster.

3. This is my favourite FOB album, it’s probably the album I listened to the most this year, I just left it on loop. My favourite song is Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner, solely for this lyric: “nothing comes as easy as you, can I lay in your bed all day?” FOB lyrics are a fic title goldmine in general.

4. In terms of Panic! albums, Vices & Virtues would win out over Pretty. Odd. if the bonus tracks were on it, but that’s all of the bonus tracks including Bittersweet (which is one of my favourite songs ever) which isn’t even on the Japanese edition so. Anyway P.O. has Northern Downpour, which is another one of my favourites.

5. This is my favourite DeBo album, even though I think Open Mouth, Open Heart is better structured and more cohesive. My favourite song is either Vixen or Nerve.

6. Every song on this album is amazing but Vienna is my favourite.

7. Heathers is my favourite movie and my favourite musical, the movie is much better than the musical but I love them both. I saw it this year and it was literally a religious experience. My favourite song is I Say No, which is not on this recording, but I like this one on the whole better than the West End Recording.

8. Little Shop is maybe my second favourite musical? Tied with Rocky Horror, maybe. I also saw it this year, but the performance was terrible lol. My favourite song is Mushnik and Son, followed by The Meek Shall Inherit. I can’t sing but I can act (read: I did gcse drama lmao), and I would love to play Seymour.

9. @oh-jesus-in-the-air introduced me to Falsettos but I didn’t really take to it until years later which is a story we both know pretty well by now lol. My favourites are A Tight-Knit Family / Love Is Blind and I’m Breaking Down. If you haven’t listened to it, @dodger-chan, I think you’d like it.

I’ll tag @oh-jesus-in-the-air (even though I know everything you’d include lol), @therainbowsaws, @rainbow-lizzard, and @punished-lincolnshire-poacher

[shejustcalledmeafish]

I’m going to make you share Ianto audio opinions now :D Sorry I know there’s like 9 million of those

Dhhdhdhd you’re all good, everyone needs to know my hot takes on their favorite blorbo that is just A Guy

Fall to Earth: Very good! The beginning of a long saga of Ianto having audios with women who are cooler than him, also he’s a dumbass and Myfanwy has insurance now

Broken: honestly, this one is overhyped in my opinion. It’s still very good, but people scream so much about it and I’m like “…poodle goo”. That said, it is a classic, content warnings for depression and suicide attempt, but it’s really doing its best to establish the janto dynamic behind s1

The Office of Never Was: this one features a darker side of Ianto which is very interesting, but also I barely remember any of the details due to me listening ages ago, but like yeah I think it’s good

The Last Beacon: PEAK GO LISTEN IMMEDIATELY, beloved romp and Ianto-Owen character dynamics

Serenity: definitely my preferred Janto audio, dumbasses in the suburbs, violence and swinging attempts and Ianto just slowly losing his mind (affectionate)

Expectant: okay so this isn’t good. I wouldn’t even necessarily say it’s fun. There’s not even that much Ianto in it. But goddamn there’s something about it, so many things that are mentioned and not explored and there are slippers and whale songs okay (also gross birth noises so be warned)

Dinner and a Show: yes very good! just a good fun romp at the opera with aliens and cheap knock-off Welsh Prosecco

Ex Machina: genuinely such an interesting concept, unreality warning heavy, but I really enjoyed it

Rhys and Ianto’s Execllent Barbecue: oh my god this is literally a masterpiece on grief and masculinity and also there’s a cool time bubble and a guinea pig, mandatory listening

Coffee: fun and painful and just like, a lot of it is kinda basic but when it hits it HITS

The Great Sontaran War: okay genuinely a pretty solid one, goss needs to stop trying to write marginalized people, but there’s a sontaran in a trailer park with a cat named Group Marshal Cat and Ianto is just trying his best, so

The Grey Mare: okay it’s not bad, but it is a pretty basic spooky tale, I heard someone describe it once as a plot that it didn’t have to be Ianto, and that’s pretty fair

Restricted Items Archive Entries 031-049: this is my personal favorite honestly, both for the almost anthology type vibe of all the entries, and because this author Gets Ianto and it’s just so fun and also a bit ouchy as it should be

SUV and The Lincolnshire Poacher: okay, haven’t heard these, but based on vibes poached from my friends, SUV is good, and Lincolnshire Poacher is slowburn Ianto whump and I mean slowburn because he doesn’t show up for a while, so don’t expect him right away, but I’m not gonna write it off

The Torchwood Archive: very good, domestic janto in the most weirdest and in character way honestly, lmao

Outbreak: YES SO GOOD, be warned for a virus plot and scratching noises, but like worth it for all of the vibes, who doesn’t want to have your boyfriend try to murder you because he loves you and your best friend mock you for your shit tie, so good

Believe: okay so his plot is probably the most interesting/best one, but overall it’s really just not that good, not really worth it

Torchwood One: god fuck you Alyssa I forgot about these, okay okay

Before the Fall: technically individual stories, but it’s really more like one big one, Rachel be girlbossing

Machines: Blind Summit is the one for Iantotent, man sorta gets supersoldiered and everyone forgets about it, I personally really like 9 to 5, the premise Bangs. Also the law machines is here, it’s okay I guess

Latter Days: Retirement Plan lets Ianto James Bond it up, Locker 15 is solid, the Rockery isn’t a Ianto story but it is my favorite from the set so 😤

Nightmares: honestly, the best set, both My Guest Tonight (not a Ianto story), and Lola are very solid, LESS MAJESTY IS FARCE AND FUCKING HILARIOUS

TLDR: honestly he doesn’t really have a Bad one, but some are better than others :3

[teslapunk3327]

yes, The Lincolnshire Poacher is a depressing and horrifying story where Ianto is psychologically tortured for months, and his body changes against his will-

-but also North English, colder, darker Ianto is so hot-

[class42warship]

I'm so glad Signalis's use of number stations is a theme throughout the game and that they use a lesser known one rather than. you know doing a really obvious/popular one like the Lincolnshire Poacher or Swedish Rhapsody. LIKE don't get me wrong they're good and interesting but I'm so glad they delved deeper into it as a narrative tool rather than oooooooh spooky person speaking